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Region E: Mid West Encounters
Location Discovery[ | ]
| Encounter Text | Location Unlocked |
|---|---|
| As you're riding along, you notice a side trail leading towards a gigantic cemetery. You jot the location down on your map. | Reboot Hill |
| You see a strange orange glow on the horizon, visible even in the bright sunlight. You spur <horsename> toward it to investigate, and arrive at a ruined ranch dotted with what appear to be gateways to Hell. | Hellstrom Ranch |
| You see the familiar palisades of an army fort off in the middle distance. You swing <horsename> toward it to see what it's called. | Fort Memoriam |
| <horsename>'s nostrils flare and he/she suddenly zags off the trail into some foothills, eventually coming to a stop outside of a very fragrant mine. | Soupstock Lode |
| <horsename>'s ears perk up and he/she suddenly veers off course. You approach a weird clearing full of piles of rocks. They make your ears ring, somehow. | The West Pole |
Non-Combat Events[ | ]
| Type | Encounter | Conditions | Options |
|---|---|---|---|
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You feel your tainted blood singing in your veins. Like they're hearing a song, not like they're being singed. That would be spelled singeing.
A smoking crater at the edge of your vision calls to you. |
≥13th encounter in this region with Cowrruption, no infernal mallet |
|
 ∗ |
A spiky, bright blue shape catches your eye. You hop off of <horsename> to investigate it more closely.
It's a Hagar's Agave! They're native to Panama, but they can grow in these parts, especially in places that are too hot for teachers to be comfortable. |
Repeatable |
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∗ |
Off to the side of the trail, you spot one of those weird cacti that produce sealed cans of tuna fish as fruit.
What a world. |
Repeatable |
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∗ |
You spy a patch of loco weed growing next to the trail. You hop down for a closer look, just to make sure it's not loco grass or loco flowers. | Repeatable |
|
 ∗ |
You find an overturned military stagecoach. Half-buried behind it is a crate labeled "SUPPLIES" in stencilled military type.
You dig around in the wreckage and find a manifest -- looks like this thing was bound for Fort Memoriam, but it says delivery was declined. |
Repeatable |
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∗ |
Oh hey! You found your crate! You don't remember losing a crate, but it must be yours because it has "MINE" stenciled on the side. | Repeatable |
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∗ |
You find a big crate, which probably fell off a wagon on its way to a ranch or something. Unless maybe it just grew here wild? You have seen a lot of weird-looking cactuses in your travels. | Repeatable |
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∗ |
You find a lone tombstone off the side of the trail. It is the final resting place of <cowboyfirstname> Treasurehaver, who died many years ago. | Repeatable |
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 ∗ |
Your El Vibrato gizmo bleeps, and as far as you know the only way to get it to stop making that noise is to find whatever it is it's so excited about.
It turns out to be a crate, which is potentially exciting for both of you, if you can unlock it. |
Repeatable [El Vibrato transponder] |
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∗ |
You run across a poor jackrabbit with his leg caught in a bear trap. That's for bears, little guy -- you shouldn't be here! | Repeatable |
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∗ |
There isn't a whole lot to occupy yourself during these long rides -- if you've seen one cloud that looks kind of like a duck, you've seen them all. It would be a good opportunity to exercise your upper-body, but you don't have any dumbbells. | Repeatable |
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∗ |
As you ride across the lonely desert, a scrap of paper blows into your field of view. You grab it, and discover that it's a half-finished crossword puzzle. | Repeatable |
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∗ |
Off the trail's shoulder, you see some ancient petroglyphs carved into a rock. | Repeatable |
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∗ |
You see a campfire near the trail, and turn off to let your horse rest a bit. The campfire's owner offers you a cup of coffee, and suggests a round or two of poker while it boils. You can tell from the look in his eyes that he's planning to cheat, but so were you, so it's probably fine? | Repeatable |
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∗ |
Off the side of the trail, you spy a young cowboy staring sourly at his reflection in a puddle, trying to get his hat cocked at a maximally jaunty angle. | Repeatable |
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Combat Events[ | ]
| Type | Encounter | Conditions | Non-Combat Options | Combat Option | ||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
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There's a sudden thrilling Woooosh sound, and a man dressed all in dark gray with a long flappy cloak and a gray bandanna pulled up to conceal his face appears before you out of the shadows. He brandishes a wicked-looking knife at you accusingly. | One-time |
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Over at the side of the road, you spot a lone and gloomy grave marker, with a lone and gloomy man in a black robe digging up the grave with a shovel. | One-time |
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A grim-looking cowboy rides up and blocks your path. | One-time |
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 ∗ |
There is a deep, gravelly exhalation of breath behind you, and you realize that you've been ambushed by a hellcow. Big one, too. | Repeatable |
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∗ |
<horsename> takes a shortcut through what you take to be an old cow graveyard.
Suddenly the entire graveyard's worth of bones clatters together into a giant, antagonistic pillar of evil! |
Repeatable |
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 |
You spot a small makeshift signpost stuck into the ground a few yards away from the road, and stop to check it out. It says "FREE MEET", and indeed there's a small pile of Meat lying in front of it. You're so distracted from rolling your eyes at this obvious trap, you almost miss the goblin sneaking up behind you. He's wearing an old buffalo skull as a helmet, which you have to admit, looks really metal. | One-time |
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You run into a goblin chef -- you can tell they're a chef by their hat and their big fork. ...Well, I guess either they're a chef, or they've recently eaten a chef. | One-time |
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You encounter a goblin wearing a battered cowboy hat, too-large spurs, and a rusty sheriff's badge. It seems extremely excited to have spotted you, and though it tries to put on a stern face, it can't mask its glee. | One-time |
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 ∗ |
Some kind of crazy skeleton charges at you from behind a rocky outcropping. He/She's crazier than most animated walking human skeletons you see because he/she's got a buffalo skull for a head, and you aren't aware of there having been any buffalo-headed people living in this area, you know, historically. | One-time |
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∗ |
Off to one side of the desert trail, a skeleton is sitting in the shade of a rocky ridge. Looks like some poor traveler must've succumbed to the heat.
As you move closer to investigate, it appears that the skeleton is holding a book. And as you get close enough to see that it's a copy of the Longfellow translation of Dante's "Divine Comedy", you notice that the skeleton is in fact reading it, turning the pages and making little notes in the margins with a pencil. |
One-time |
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∗ |
You hear a gunshot and a bullet pings off a rock near your feet. You turn around to look for the culprit, and see a skeleton a few yards away -- a skeleton with a buffalo skull instead of a regular skull.
So that's how your day is going. |
One-time |
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∗ |
You pass by a pile of old bones. When you stop to examine them, they assemble into a skeleton. Just a regular ol' skeleton with nothing special about it, except for the fact that it's attacking you. And now that I think about it, even that isn't particularly special. Gee. What a humdrum encounter. | Repeatable |
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You encounter the ghost of a dead cowboy, who is wailing and gnashing his teeth and generally seeming very frustrated about how his life has gone. Or, more likely, how it stopped going. | Repeatable [Pale Horse] |
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 ∗ |
Wow, jeez! I hope you're a veterinarian, because this python you've encountered is sick! | Repeatable |
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∗ |
Your El Vibrato transponder bleeps at you, and you dutifully follow the signal. Sheesh, who's in charge here?
It leads you to a hulking robot stomping around in the desert sand, so the answer is basically "not you". |
Repeatable [El Vibrato transponder] |
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