Tony

A hippie who claims that elves make boots for him to sell. You can try to convince him to open his own boot shop, but he refuses to leave the fort unless his elves' safety can be assured. This can be done by giving him a bunch of really small guns, for his "elves" to use on the journey to Dirtwater. These guns can be acquired by winning all four battle scenarios in the tabletop game at Fort Memoriam.

He will then move to Dirtwater, with his elves and set up Tony's Boots, a boot store.

Tony is likely strung out on Lactarius Dirtihippica mushrooms like the rest of his hippie friends.